I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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