remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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