I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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