if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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