im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
