I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
