What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
