we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
