Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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