you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
