I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
