i need an iv and a liver transplant
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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