You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
