Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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