I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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