just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
