just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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