I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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