Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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