Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
