so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
