So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
