a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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