Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
