The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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