4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
