I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
