What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
