you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
