is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
