that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
