and she was petting her beer can
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
