the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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