Christians are straight up FREAKS
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
