i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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