WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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