Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
