I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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