theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
