I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
