Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
