Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
