I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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