Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
