After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
