I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
