ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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