what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
