just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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