Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
