Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
