what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
